"He's handsome," she said. "He's handsome", she said!

My head is spinning at the end of the day. I've seen so many strange and peculiar things happening in the basics of writing. I'm not talking about dangling modifiers and other obscure things that frighten all of us once exposed by well-meaning editors, but the very simple basics of grammar.

Recent queries from authors have included the most bizarre structure. The title above is just one of them. And not just a one-time mistake. I've read an entire manuscript with the quotation marks in quite interesting and creative places.

If you want an agent/editor to take you seriously, get a grasp of the basics of grammar, punctuation, and know how to put them together in a legible manner. Also, go to their sites and find out if they handle erotica before you tell them "I researched your site and found you to be the perfect agent for my work!" And then proceed to give an inspirational agent new lessons in "how to" graphic word by graphic word.

Does anyone do their homework anymore or more aptly put: "is there out their anyone whose listening"?

A Supercilious, Ridiculous, Puffed Up Blog

Okay, there’s a long, boring, dry list of things that an agent or editor really doesn’t want to see. One of them is verbose line after lengthy line while trying to get to the gist of the story.

When a story’s strength relies on adjectives and adverbs to beef it up, the story’s in trouble right out of the swinging, slat-deprived gate. A wonderful story can be told with virtually no adverbs and no adjectives. A few are thrown in now and then for flavor, but when the entire story depends on crutches to strengthen weak storyline, weak nouns, and weak verbs, then the writer is shamefully in trouble.

YES, a well-placed, once-in-a-while “addition” is fine, but I’m seeing a lot of submissions that depend on the flowery language while short changing the reader with little substance in the “meat” of the story.

Write a solid piece, neatly, accurately, and profoundly. A story that keeps the reader turning pages whether or not the guy looks like a super hero. And the girl need not have raven black hair and emerald, indigo, or ocean blue eyes. These are all fine if the rest of the narration forces the reader to continue reading on into the night. And not the dark and stormy night. Just the night when she or he should be sleeping cozily, but can’t because he or she is so adamantly engrossed in what is happening to wonderful Hero and air-head Raven Hair that the book just can’t be put down!

Remember, it’s all about the story. Even poor grammar and punctuation can sometimes be overlooked if the story is so amazing that it simply HAS to be told.